12 things to do when your partner is taking their sweet time during shopping.
- Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking
- Set all alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-mins intervals.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
- Go to the Service Desk and ask to buy a pack of M&M’s on a loan.
- Move a ‘CAUTION ‘WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and say ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone??’
- Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’
- Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!’
- Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while. Then yell loudly ‘THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!!’