12 ways to kill time in a supermarket

12 things to do when your partner is taking their sweet time during shopping.

  1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking
  2. Set all alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-mins intervals.
  3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
  4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to buy a pack of M&M’s on a loan.
  5. Move a ‘CAUTION ‘WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
  6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and say ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone??’
  8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
  9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’
  10. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
  11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!’
  12. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while. Then yell loudly ‘THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!!’

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