Tag Archives: Advice

When do you deserve to love and be loved in return?

You may be single or attached or heart-broken or trying to recover from a sour relationship as you’re reading this. But what you’re going to read here applies to everyone.

The only time you deserve to love and be loved in return is when you know what you’re doing with your life. True love isn’t just about the looks or the money. That is as shallow as any relationship can get. You might even argue with me that there are elements like being truthful, being earnest, being forgiving, being caring and all but true love only happens when you learn how to respect and admire the unique individual for who they are genuinely and what they do best with their life.

No one, and I mean no one would be truly in love with a person who beg for love and forgiveness. That is just loving out of sympathy, nothing more and nothing less. The day you have learn how to focus your energy in doing what you do best is the day everyone would see it and admire you for who you are. Humans can be blinded by love but we are no fool in recognizing what lies beneath that mask. We just choose to have faith and hope even though we could spot the ill patterns from experience. This will surely one day exhaust itself and he/she will wake up one day and realize why am I still sticking to this joker with multiple mask for? Who was I loving all these while?

So don’t waste your time chasing for love and companionship if you can’t focus on yourself individually. You don’t deserve love and be loved in return if you can’t be the best you can be in this life time. Go that extra mile and gain that respect and admiration and soon enough you’ll realize that you not only love yourself more, you are also a truly happy person. This will then make you worthy of loving someone and be loved in return.

“You don’t deserve love if you can’t focus on yourself. The day you focus on yourself is the day everyone would respect, admire and love you for what you do best with your life.”


When we fall in love again, do we love better or worst?

First Love
I want you to unwind back to your first love. Who was him/her? It felt perfect didn’t it? It feels 100% because everything was for the very first time. There was nothing, no one else to compare it with. But what if the first love didn’t worked out as planned? You had to pick up a new love. The soul tie that was formed previously with your first love has to be cut. Could it be cut completely, or will there always be a thin line holding each others heart? (Admit if you will that there will always be a little soft spot for the first love as kryptonites are to Superman.)

Below are 2 theories on loving better or worst after a complete clean breakup.

Loving Worst
Because the soul ties are not completely cut away from the first love, therefore we are not able to form complete soul ties with the next partnership. The second love could only experience 90% of what’s left from the first love because the remaining 10% is forever with the first love. I could not imagine what’s gonna happen for the remaining lovers if the second or third one fails. The more we love the more soul ties we form and the less is given because now the love of 100% is divided.

Loving Better
Even with the soul ties attached to the first love. We are able to love more. This is because our hearts heal, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. And because it heals, we are able to give a complete 100% or 110%. The more we have loved the better we are at understanding ourselves and our partners. Our hearts have infinite love if only you choose to unlock it. And with each new lover, our love will always flow like a river endlessly to a new found love because that’s where hope is found.

We always love better. Even when we are afraid of getting hurt again in a second relationship. The reserved heart will open up the moment we realize our lover is giving their all sincerely. All doubts will be lifted and you will choose again to love with all you have and even more because our hearts do heal.

“Our hearts have infinite love if only you choose to unlock it.”



7 billion population, why fight over a girl?

The Earth has 7 billion population. Amongst the 7 billion, over 1 billion are single and eligible females. Why are men still fighting over the same girl?

Throughout my life, I’ve seen numerous examples of guys going after the same girl and often it doesn’t end where the winning guy and the girl walks into the sunset like movies or fairy tales. It mostly end up in blazing flames.

I myself did make a similar mistake. I remembered during my adolescent years, I did fall for the wrong girl and that cost me my best friend who is like a brother to me. (we are still strangers) That lesson was a painful one and since then, I’ve never fought with anyone else over a girl. It’s never worth it. Let me paint you a few scenarios.

The Ego
Ben is an average looking guy who has never dated and decided to try his luck with Ellie. Unfortunately Sam likes Ellie and decides to go for her too at the same time. Ben & Sam tried their best to woo Ellie but Sam decided to let go in the end. Sam gave his blessings and Ellie accepted Ben. Things were good for awhile till Ben started showing his ego. Since he won Ellie over Sam, he felt like he could just get any girl. So Ben ditched Ellie and tried to pursue other girls. Sam is now dating someone else and Ellie is heartbroken.

The Superstar
Ellie is a sweet & kind average looking girl. She was never popular because her best friends are more attractive than her. She seldom gets noticed and she couldn’t care less. Suddenly it all changed when she noticed that 2 of her peers are trying to date her. It was a feeling she has never experience and it felt good, real good. The exciting discovery changed Ellie from the sweet & kind girl into a girl who plays hard to get. Her friends now call her a bitch.

You’ve Changed
Ellie is an elegant woman who is a successful manager who works in a MNC. She wasn’t rushing into any commitment especially when 2 guys named Ben & Sam constantly showers her with gifts, flowers and love.  A year has passed and she figure out who she wants to spend her rest of her life with. After a phone call, Ben is the happiest man alive. Ben was so ecstatic he made sure everyone knows who he was dating, especially after that 1 year long chase. But 6 months later, Ellie broke up with Ben. She said Ben has changed. The gifts, flowers and love was less.

The Trophy
Ben & Sam decided to go after a gorgeous young girl name Ellie whom they both met in a club 6 months ago. Ben & Sam tried their best tricks up their sleeves to win Ellie’s heart. 2 months later, Sam sealed the deal, he would proudly bring Ellie around and wave her around like a trophy. Ben moved on. 4 months later, Sam got bored and decided to go for the cute girl he just met at Starbucks coffee. Sam managed to date the cute girl from Starbucks Coffee but 6 months later, he went after the new neighbor.

Character names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I hope these few scenarios made a point and anyone could get hurt in this game. Be the gentleman and back off for the losers now will later win. Trust me, cause I won.


10 naked girls, which would you go for? [SFW]

What do I look most for in women? It’s definitely not the physical looks. I admit I greatly admire beauty because of the artist in me but I’ll never use that fundamental in looking for a lover/partner. Because you and I know that you may be the most beautiful girl in the world at this point now but 40 years down the line, you’re gonna look just like any other old granny. Your skin is gonna wrinkle and your boobs will sag cause you can’t fight gravity.

The utmost priority for me in looking for a girl is communication. I regard communication highly because that’s the highest level to turn someone on. Think about it, just by talking you’ll get turned on. I’m sure some of you have met people who is so intellectually stimulating you just can’t wait to taste them.

You can line them 10 naked girls in front of me. All equally gorgeous and godly shaped. But who will I choose? Who will you choose? I would choose the one who can communicate with me and turn me on. Have you not met gorgeous people who totally turns you off the moment they try to speak with you?

You want someone who can connect with you, understands you, stimulate your brain and turns you on mentally for the rest of your life. Anything else is futile.

“Nothing is sexier than sheer brilliance a woman can portrait.”


In life, you’ll always end up on the losing end if you cheat.

This is a funny story about me cheating roughly 20 years ago.

The Class
I had English tuition classes in the afternoon throughout most of my primary school years. It was at EM tuition center located at Mosjaya of Miri. It was a new tuition center where most of the mothers considered it to be the best. During that time, a young  dedicated, honest looking teacher name Mr. Sim was teaching me. I remember my mum would tell me that he’s such a nice guy that whoever marries him will have no worries for the rest of her life.

This English class Mr. Sim conducted was fun and dynamic. He would throw in an exam every month just to make sure we’re keeping up. I was pretty poor with my grammar at that time and I would always get a sounding from my mum for making stupid obvious mistakes like not putting ‘ing’ on an adjective that describes continuity in action.

The Cheat
As I recalled clearly it was a Thursday afternoon. The whole class have got our exam papers back. Mr. Sim wrote all the answers on the board for us to learn the mistakes we’ve made during the exam. I scored 78 and was really disappointed in myself because I would like to get an A for my mother. Secretly, when no one was watching, I changed one of my answers to the one on the board so that I could get that extra 2 points to put me up in the A group. Without thinking or analyzing I went ahead and rub off the answer carefully and nervously.

The question:
Yesterday, I went to the store to _________ some groceries.

What I wrote:
Yesterday, I went to the store to buy some groceries.

What I changed to:
Yesterday, I went to the store to bought some groceries.

By now, I summoned my courage to walk up towards Mr. Sim in hope that he will not notice that I’ve changed the answer. I passed him my paper and told him that he has got a marking error and I deserved more points. He took my paper with a slight disbelief in his facial expression and carefully read the sentence. He looked at the board and cross checked at my paper again. I was nervous but in my heart I was confident I’ll get that extra points.

The Reality
He stood up and went to the white board to change the grammar and announced to the class saying that he made a mistake and whoever wrote the real correct answer should see him immediately to redeem their points. I was so shocked that I felt numbed. The other kids are all swarming in front of him to get their extra points while I took my paper back and sat in my seat quietly dumbfounded.

The Lesson
I did thought to myself that if I tell the truth I might get that extra points. But I didn’t, I shall take this paper home and show it to my mother and let it be a lesson for the rest of my life that if you cheat, you’ll end up losing more in life.

That darn radio is making me cry!

Upon hearing the first beat of ‘Our Song’. Tears just couldn’t stop rolling down your cheeks. It’s devastating to a point that all you could do is just to run into your room and cry out loud into the pillow hoping your parents don’t hear you. Picture perfect memories of your other half runs effortlessly and continuously through your mind till it wears you down and fall asleep only to find yourself awaken to rinse and repeat the whole scenario again.

It’s amazing how songs amplify the emptiness and loneliness after a heart break.

You then start to wonder when will all these nonsense come to a halt. What seems to be minutes are now days. You look around you, everything just stops. That void is ripping your heart out into abyss. But fret not my deary, with a little wisdom and time. It will heal your heart whole. You’ll wake up to the sound of birds chirping that you once thought was lost forever. You’ll run like the wind that you once thought nothing could ever make you move again. You’ll look back and laugh at your adolescent years that made you wiser and stronger.

Then that darn radio plays your ‘Our Song’. You immediately felt this gush of warmness rising from your belly. It’s familiar but yet different. Your memories has not failed you that you recognize this pattern you once had. In a blink of an eye, you didn’t feel any tears rolling. Instead, the edge of your lips break into a smile. Even chuckles from your heart at your silly self and the moments you had with your ex. You then look around you… life is good. You’re happy with the moments you’ve collected in life.

“Collect moments, not things.”

Why not share the song that made you teared in the comments below? I’ll promise to share mine after the 10th comment providing you won’t laugh at it.


Girls are stupid. Guys are good at lying.

They always say that girls are better liars. I do agree to a certain point but let’s leave that argument for another post.

The situation here is about stories you’ve heard about your girl friends. You damn well know that whoever your girl friend is dating is a bad apple. You’ve warned her numerous times about his flowery, flirtatious, cheating words. But what does your girl friend do? She is just stupid. She chose to believe whatever this guy promises her. Not once, not twice but till the day her heart crushes into millions of pieces till she can’t go in that relationship anymore.

I can’t blame the girl, really. Guys are just too good at lying and girls are just stupid enough to believe. This equation is the root of all miserable relationships you’ve been trying to save your girl friends from.

Girls believe in hope. The hope that guys gave. Just that the ‘hope’ we are referring to here are lies.

There’s no genius way to snap her out of this stupidity state. Often times you just have to let them fall, fall so hard that they wake up from their stupidity and make sure you’re there to lift them up when needed.

“Guys are just too good at lying and girls are just stupid enough to believe.”


Whoopsie… ex-files.

I’ve never gotten like super close with any of my ex. And damn well no intimacy after that. No intentions whatsoever. You see… the reason they are known as ex is because you draw a big X over their name. Indicating it’s broken, unusable. So look forward, don’t turn back and bite that sour fruit again. It’s so yesterday!

But then sometimes some people tend to do it anyway. So here are some situations and ways I think you should deal with it.

  • The coincidence. Oh yeah. It’s a beautiful day. With the striking sun out of sight and breezy breeze brushing your face. Nothing else could go wrong… something caught your eye. Your ex-girl/boyfriend is walking towards you with a new soul mate. Now, be nice! Act like you’re pleased to meet the other half even though it hurts. You would look bad if you showed any sign that you’re still upset over the whole thing. Don’t talk for too long and make sure you say how nice it is to meet up with them both and then excuse yourself. Focus, focus… eye on a better half for yourself and let them turn green.
  • The bed scene. Yes, it was an accident… hit me baby one more time! You did tell yourself over and over again not to cross that line but some how it happened. Trust me… either one of you would be thinking that it’s just a casual sex session. So what I say is. Keep yourself occupied with something else. This is a bad habit to keep up with.
  • The sound of wedding bells. You picked up your phone nonchalantly thinking that someone nice is calling you. It’s your ex-girl/boyfriend’s number. You answered it hoping that it should be no big of a deal. To your surprise,your ex is getting married. Guess what, you’re on the invitation list. Hmm… if the event brings bitterness to you then I guess you should skip the wedding and go out with your friends to forget about the whole event. Only show up if you’re totally over it and you’re there to bless your ex.
  • I want you back. Oooo… sounds like a bliss? Think again. Stand firm on your ground. Re-check his/her quality. Has he/she become a better self? Why it didn’t work out before and would it work this time? Don’t accept just because you’re lonely, you needed a date or hearing I love you from him/her. Getting a second chance is something for him/her to work for. So work his/her ass off to get you back.


You were strong.

Time after time, I’ve always heard about the human kind complaining that they cannot go on after any particular separation. To me… that’s bullshit! We are known as human beings, the utmost living creature created by God in the image of Himself. We are the only living creature that has got the power to adapt, think and feel.

So here comes the story… Guy and girl gets together. They love each other. One day, guy and girl decided to call it quits. Let’s say the guy is a jerk. (Usually we are) Girl gets heartbroken badly. Cried for countless nights and still couldn’t get over with it. None of the remedy she tried could help herself.
Now here I would like to stress that, situations like this is bullshit! We were alone. We were not attached. Don’t tell me that someone is gonna come into your life and leave with a big hole in your heart. Yeah, I know it hurts but we can get over it. There will be a hole, but we just have to learn to deal with it. Patch things up and go on with life. Think about the days you were single and you lived your life happily without even needing the other half. Why? How? The days are still there but it’s you who want to think that it’s the end of the world. We humans can live alone normally, healthily.

But you’ll say it’s love. Yes, I know it’s love… the mumbo jumbo feeling and stuff. But think twice. It’s call loved. (past tense, mind you) So the situation has changed. If you’re still complaining then it’s just a habit to be with the other half. How about getting use to another situation for a change. A way better situation that is gonna make you whole again.

Seriously, don’t let me look down on you. I’ve been in love and out of love. It’s not that big of a deal. Yeah, you might say that I’m just heartless or I’ve got friends there to go through with me. But does it really help? Can friends really help you when you still have to climb onto your bed at night alone and start thinking of all the good times and start sobbing again? They can talk to you the whole day but when the night comes you’re all alone again. It’s just an excuse we give ourselves. Live for yourself! You build your own future and destroys your own future if you may. Claim back your independence right from this very second. Life is full of chances and opportunities, and it’s up for us to learn to grab them.

“Falling in and out of love is part of growing up. It makes us stronger.”