Deny, ignore, run, neglect, abandon…
Sad to say I’ve not been the usual self for quite sometime. A long time actually… I didn’t ask for this but you know how fragile humans can be at times and they just can’t get out of that diseased bubble. Looking away at the real world drenched and soak till the flesh rots and decay.
As some of you might know, last month was my birthday month. It’s a really bad day for my birthday to fall on a good Friday. Everyone was literally at the church from day till night and there ain’t no party for me. So seeing how bad 2007 started till my birthday it really makes me wonder why am I still here. I have to say there isn’t really much for me to look forward to except for the upcoming Jazz Festival this weekend.
Hold me, thrill me, kiss me please. Gotta wake up from this reverie and taste the sun sweet berries of the earth again. Praying and hoping things we get better… God does always seem to send Angels to save me. I’m really thankful for His grace!
A dear friend said she’ll be dropping to visit me for a few days. She couldn’t decide until she realize that she lost her ticket to another destination. (God’s grace?) She’s the other person that I’m really looking forward to meet up after decaying for so long. Although she spent only four days in Miri, I must say she made me stop running away from myself and started thinking of filling that un-shattered cup of mine. I could’ve do it myself but I guess I was just weak, very weak.
I could talk more about how interesting she is, like the wonderful chats at night, her short yoga lesson for me, the way she put on her make-ups, how she see things as they are, what she wants… I think a short glimpse for you all is enough. I’ll shut here. Anymore than that would make me sound like I’m obsess with her.
How ironic, I had the best 4 days of my life last year and I’m getting it just before my birthday month ends this year. Gotta love myself more!